I get asked this question frequently. “How do I move on from what has happened to me?” “How will I ever recover or feel better?” In these instances, the client has recognised trauma or trauma-related symptoms as a problem in their lives, adversely influencing them. It is an impediment they long to be free from.
But what about clients who come to counselling without expressing or relaying emotional or psychological trauma? They carry this with them either consciously or unconsciously. In the conscious state, fear, guilt, or enormous hurt may be possible reasons for not sharing. In the unconscious state, protection from harm. I liken the latter to the metaphor of a vault. The trauma is secured, protected and removed from harm.
Healing from Trauma and traumatic stress relief practice continues to evolve. As more clinical studies are completed, alternative treatment options are considered, and knowledge is shared, mental health professionals and practitioners have moved more to living alongside trauma as a healing process (rather than revisiting and seeking out traumatic events to “treat”). As in all mental health settings, a competent trauma-informed therapist will assess the individual’s capability, capacity (for change) and willingness to engage with the therapeutic approach. This recognises that everyone will experience trauma and trauma-related symptoms differently. Thus, everyone will need individual therapy and support, empathy and compassion to find their way to healing.
What is Trauma?
If one pulls a definition from the Web, one might get something like this:
“Trauma is an experience that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, involving actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence that causes lasting physical and/or psychological harm. Traumatic events can be a single incident (like a car accident) or ongoing circumstances (like abuse). The response to trauma varies greatly, leading to distress, fear, and feelings of helplessness, and can result in mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, or anxiety.”
When reading this definition, many of us will fix on “threatened death, serious injury or sexual violence”. These are norms: we associate and relate to these categories when discussing or considering traumatic events. A horrific car accident that ends with a friend or family member in intensive care and then rehabilitation for months. Sexual abuse experienced within the community or at home. Social media, mainstream media and community news are filled with such events. What we frequently miss or overlook is the second part of the definition: “Traumatic events can be a single incident (like a car accident) or ongoing circumstances (like abuse)”.
When discussing traumatic stress, I spend time with clients exploring their life story. So often, a significant traumatic event or occurrence will surface. Examples:
– A “minor” accident resulting in a fractured limb that then led to loss of a job, relationship, or future “normal” mobility;
– A partner confessing to an affair; or
– Repeated bullying or harassment at work.
Would we add the “trauma” term to the above? Why not? Is it because we regard these as simply part of life? That we manage and cope with these? What does coping look like?
A repeating theme that I see in clients in the above is the onset of depression or anxiety (or both). Loss of motivation, social withdrawal, loss of confidence and self-esteem. All of these are common as byproducts of “trying to cope”.
How does identification help? Aren’t we just applying “another label”?
Identification supports acknowledgement. Acknowledgement supports healing and recovery.
The Healing Approach
So how do we heal from trauma or traumatic events? (in whatever form that may take)? Here are seven simple steps. Note these may not be linear!
1. Acknowledge and Validate Experience
- Acknowledgement doesn’t mean we revisit. It simply means we recognise that what has happened is still affecting us. Whether that be emotional trauma or psychological trauma. We may have developed dysfunctional ways of coping, substance use disorders, or traumatic stress reactions that potentially affect others.
- Validation provides clients with the knowledge and insight that Trauma is not “just in your head.
2. Seek Professional Support
- Trauma-specific therapies can be life-changing. I use many different modalities when working with clients to help them heal from traumatic events. I shape these to the client after careful assessment of capability, capacity and ability.
- If therapy feels overwhelming, I provide referrals to support groups (online or in-person group therapy). If the traumatic stress reactions are severe, I work with other trauma specialists and practitioners. In some cases, working with two trauma specialists may be the way forward for the short term.
3. Consider the Physiological State
Trauma often disconnects us from our bodies. I work with clients to consider approaches and combat stress reactions such as:
- Grounding practices: which can be as simple as noticing your feet on the floor, holding a warm mug, or naming five things you see.
- Breathwork, yoga, tai chi, or simply stretching.
- Somatic experiencing and awareness: placing your hand on your chest or stomach and noticing your physical self.
- Trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy: for families who are experiencing emotional and behavioural difficulties following trauma.
4. Consider Environmental Factors
Healing from trauma must be a truly holistic approach. I work to understand a client’s environmental norms. This can include such things as who the support system is, internal family systems, emotional regulation surrounding stressful situations, sleep disturbances, alcohol dependence or substance use disorders and more. How they consider and respond to this, including feelings associated with the environment. Is it safe? Does it feel secure? Are they comfortable there?
- I encourage routines or rituals (morning tea, journaling, walking).
- I consider and help clients identify and assess exposure to people, media, or environments that may reactivate trauma.
- I explore the safety of their relationships, including those where they may express themselves without fear of judgment.
5. Express and Process
- Journaling, music or art therapy can help release feelings: for many, expressing themselves in written form can be truly liberating and present a freedom of expression that they cannot access during therapy.
- Another example is writing letters to a past self or to those involved in the trauma, which can be proven to help release pain and guilt.
6. Exercise Self-Care
- Prioritising sleep and nutrition: Eating well and getting a full night’s sleep is more important than you’d think. Sleep disturbances or sleep fragmentation have been known to have major effects on your ability to handle day-to-day tasks and emotionally regulate.
- Practising self-soothing: warm baths, bath salts, incense
- Considering other remedies, such as treating yourself to a day spa or massage
7. Allow Time and Embrace Self-Compassion
- Healing isn’t linear—you may feel better, then be triggered again. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. There are so many metaphors that can help understand how to manage triggers and traumatic stress reactions when they come. I provide an extensive toolkit to my clients to help them understand the recovery process, help them find a support system and the time associated with this.
- The practice of self-compassion is vastly overlooked. This is a practice and process that can be immensely rewarding as part of recovery. I provide a self-compassion tool kit and exercises to my clients.
- I help clients celebrate small wins, like moments of peace or self-kindness. Over time, these will increase. When there is a setback or seeming pause in recovery, I help support clients understand why and how to consider this.
Finding the courage to move from Step 1 to Step 2 is, for many, huge. When you do reach out for support, trauma, or to combat stress reactions, I will meet you with kindness, compassion and empathy. I will help you rediscover your courageous life. Reach out today for a free consultation.
